pfft

Posted

Mood: groggy, Music: maneater
quick entry before class...

i dont understand how it is that it's snowing SO MUCH this year and barely did last year, when i was a senior in high school and didn't have to make up snow days. i mean i guess it's still chill cuz we dont have to make up snow days in college *knock on wood* or at least so far we don't. anywho it's snowing right now and starting to stick and i'd LOVE it if my bio lab at 3 is canceled.

on another note i'm sick again. it sucks cuz i feel like i'm the girl that's just constantly getting sick! i blame the allergies this time around. i've been getting killer headaches though. i think i need to go home and see my chiropractor. well spring break's in less than a week and i'll be home! i dont think i'm going to go to pittsburgh. i dont really have the engergy, even though it'd be fun.

my friend from HS did come to visit me last monday. it was GREAT seeing him. originally he was going to spend the night but ended up  not which was fine cuz i had a lot of hw to do and class the next day. it felt so comfortable being around someone i've known for longer than 9 months. no offense to my college friends.

a bunch of my college friends found this house where the couple who owns it rents out four rooms to college kids every year. and i want to move in SO bad with two of my other friends. i'd have my own room and it's such a beautiful house but i think it's going to be too expensive :( makes me wish i didnt see the place.

i have to schedule my classes for next semester and i dont know what to take. i'm freaking out. it sucks.

i didnt go to bed early enough last night. i was being silly and should have. that's all for now.

Posted

Mood: confused, Music: lightning crashes- live
can you hate someone for being so wonderful? where would that leave you? Or does it really boil down to the fact that you just hate yourself? Does the hate seep forth solely because you're too scared to face what might be happening?

i think i'm going to go home this weekend. I haven't been home since winter break (jan 15th) and that's a long time for me! I miss my cats quite a lot and the bathtub! i miss my mom too but i saw her for my birthday a few weeks ago.

i recently had a horrible dream that i slept with my MARRIED ETHICS professor. and it was a hump-n-a-dump. i'm not attracted to him. and then i had to go to his class (in real life). awkward but just for me.

ugh it's POURING here. going to class tomorrow is not going to be fun. it could be snow...if it was a lot lot colder. ah well.

i think my friend from highschool's going to come visit me at college soon and stay in my room with me. I like living in a single! It'll be really nice cuz it's been a long long time since we've hung out. :) We have a very interesting friendship. We pick on eachother and fight CONSTANTLY but in the end it's true friendship.

I think i'm going to go to pittsburgh for my spring break. I want to visit some friends and stuff. Plus Breaking Benjamin's going to be playing on the campus and it'd be so chill to see them again. The only downside: my ex goes to pitt. But it's a big campus, he doesnt even need to know i'm there. We're definetly not friends. Not enemies but  not friendly. The last time i saw him was graduation and we hugged but it was a bit forced. I dont know if it's worth the commute out there and back.

I had to write a question/ mini paper for my ethics class today and...i think i did a good job on it. I've never been much of a writer but when I left for class today i had this good sense of confidence about my piece. it was very refreshing.

my friends and i were thinking about drinking tonight but decided against it. That's fine with me. I don't like drinking with all girls all the time. I get really...well, horny and needy when i'm drunk. a girl (one of my friends to boot) just won't cut it. I also have been having some bad dreams when I sleep after I get drunk. I dream about my dad or guys that are no longer in my life. The less I do that the better.

i recently found out my ex best friend has a facebook. It's not such a big deal but he's friends with all of our old friends from middle school (where we met in 7th grade). It's not fair. I'm the ONLY one that has stayed friends with him after 8th grade and yet everyone else (who made fun of him for YEARS) is still talking to him. I'm so jealous of every other person that is still in his life. They will never love him like i do. His witch of a girlfriend will NEVER love him the way i do. I'm not in love with him but my feelings for him surpass anything that she even THINKS she feels. She wouldn't control his life the way she does if she really cared about him. And he'd leave her if he thought someone would ever care about him again. He has such low confidence. He was going to leave her. He even asked me to his prom as a back up date. Then he stayed with her. Sometimes I think he's jealous of the freedom I have and that's why he hates me. Really I think about any other scenario then the one he chooses to believe: I'm a horrible person. Its been 8 months since we've talked and I've needed him more in the last 8 months than I have in the past 6 years. Oh i can't ramble on about him anymore. i'm just broken without him.

i dont like whining! happy things....one class til the weekend left! aaand spring break is only a week away! I dont think i'm going to work during spring break!!!!! and i think i'm going to take a shower before i go to bed. even though it's 11:36 pm!

Want to play a game?

Posted

then come and join LOST!