Like the proverbial bad smell

I'm back. Couldn't stay away. I began to twitch, blink furiously and convulse. The girl Mafia threatened to hold an intervention and kidnap my computer. Bitches.

* Seems I was taggled ages ago grrrrrr thanks for that, I will repay you in kind shortly. I'm supposed to tell you all my oddities. Do you have a few weeks? Only joking. Here are just a few.

1. I hate sushi. Now you may not think that's odd, but in OC, EVERYONE eats it. You simply are not uber cool and hip if you don't chow down on raw fish. Well dammit I'm not going to pretend anymore. I frickin hate it. Get me a burger dammit!

2. I think I'm developing workplace kleptomania. I can't stop stealing office supplies. Now I know everybody does this, but I don't need any of the shit I pinch. I just do it cuz I can. I have more post it notes, pens, copy paper, staplers and hole punchers than I could ever use. I'm working my way up to swiping a fax machine or laptop.

3. I love really lame, corny movies but I refuse to cry in the theater. I recently went to the movies with the boy and feck me sideways if my throat didn't ache from holding back the tears. But I would not give in. I sat in stony silence trying not to sniff or wipe my eyes. I just will not be all girly at the movies.

4. I think I have OCD tendencies. I have to do things in a certain order. Like when I get up, I have to do things in the exact same way as I do every morning or I'll have a shit day. When I grocery shop, I start in aisle 1, even if I don't want anything in that aisle and work my way through to aisle 12 or whatever. When I clean my apartment, I have to do my bathroom first, then kitchen, then lounge and then bedroom. I don't know why. I just do.

5. I can't wear other people's shoes. I don't care if they are the most orgasmic pair of heels I've ever seen, and they're in my size, if they have been on someone else's feet I won't even try them on.

That's enough of that. I'm starting to think I'm weirder than what I am. I have enough issues already thank you very much!

I tag anyone who wants to do it. Knock yourself out.

* Insult of the week comes from my boss to one of the sales reps. " Shut the fuck up Martin, If I wanted lip from you'd I'd peel it off the Director's ass" GOLD!! Martin is the biggest suck up merchant you ever saw. I heart my boss. =)

* My "friends" and I use that term loosely soundly kicked my ass over the whole weekend shenanigans. We have these sessions where, when one of us is in need of a thorough ass kicking, we text "Sux 2 b me" to the girl Mafia. Then then night we all converge at the home of the text sender with chocolate and Vodka and sharp ass kicking boots.

This week I had to compete for attention with my friend who's boyfriend is a dirty, cheating bastard. Yes he is cheating. Want to know how she found out? He came home late one night and she sniffed his nuts. I swear! Note to dumbass guys of the world. If you are going to screw your mistress, have a shower before you go home. What a tosser.
So she got most of the sympathy, fair enough. All I got were a few " You're retarded, grow up"'s and the like. Ah well. I scoffed most of the chocolate, so I was well soothed in the end.

What else? Oh yeah, I have a lurker from South Carolina. This person has been spending HOURS in my archives. Who are you? Speak up I say? I don't bite unless you ask me nicely. =)

Hope you people remembered to water my plants while I was gone. I'm BACK!!!