joke

Posted Nov 8 at 8:17 AM

A man decided to have a face-lift for his birthday. He spends £5,000 and feels really good about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsagent and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the newsagent, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35, " was the reply.
"I'm actually 47, " the man says happily.
A little while later he goes to McDonald's for lunch and asks the waitress the same question, to which the reply is, "I'd guess that you're 29?"
"Nope, I am actually 47." He's starting to feel really good about himself. While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question.
She replies, "I’m 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your penis I will be able to tell your exact age." As there was no one else around the man thought what the hell and let her slip her hand down his pants.
Ten minutes later the old lady says, "OK, it's done. You’re 47,"
Stunned the man says, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?"
The old lady replies, "I was behind you in the queue in McDonald's